• Marry the One Who Will Be a Good Parent and Adventure (and a Solid Marriage) is Guaranteed 

    It’s just like Jared Price to turn down an offered free flight in exchange for an extra night in a hotel just so I can tag along for a drive. Forget that said drive was fourteen hours long. 

    The twenty-four-hour drive from Carrollton, GA to North Platte, NE is pushing it for us. Fourteen hours is nothing. 

    Well, it used to be nothing. Now, it does take a minute to think about. 

    And so, Jared is off doing Jared things and I am in a nice, roomy, eighth floor hotel room in Austin, Texas. 

    I used to think about old-fashioned matchmakers, or people who met their spouses after being matched on their wedding day or shortly thereafter, and think, “I could never do that.”

    And while I didn’t– Jared and I met on Lavalife in 2003– but Jared had been on dating websites for about three years and he had a specific set of search criteria on several sites that I fell into about two weeks after I created my own profile.

    Early 2000’s dating websites sort of felt like their own versions of matchmakers, though, with their mysterious algorithms.

    Jared seduced me on the phone in 2003, before we’d met in person, with talk of his time in Israel from the 1990s. He talked about visiting friends in Canada. He lived in Grinnell, Iowa, and he, with less than a week’s notice, made plans to come see me. 

    And so, I knew: getting involved with Jared would mean adventure. 

    In the early days, adventure meant picking him up at the airport in Atlanta after he’d hopped a 5 AM flight from Moline, Illinois on AirTran to Atlanta, to spend the weekend with me. 

    Sometimes those visits ended us up in St. Simons for the visit.

    Or it was me traveling: a late Thursday night flight to Moline or Des Moines or Omaha, depending on whether we were staying at Jared’s house in Grinnell or headed to some family gathering with his family in Nebraska. 

    I’ve seen more of the United States because of knowing Jared Price than I ever thought possible before I met him in 2003. 

    Jared appealed to me because of my perhaps naive ideas of adventure. I married him because I knew he’d be a stellar daddy: the only one of the men I dated I knew without any shred of doubt would be a good father. 

    Marry the one who would be a good parent even if you never plan to have kids. It’s about emotional intelligence, trust and stability, and unselfishness and resilience, not strictly about raising a family.

    Adventure doesn’t hurt. Chemistry gets deeper as time goes on. Trust is far more important than superficial chemistry, at first. I met Jared online and I knew I could trust him before I met him in person. I was right. 

    In fact, I’d go farther to argue that initial sparks are built over time, not found magically on day one.

    I’m pretty sure it’s not the norm for people to marry their spouse because of their parenting potential. Most people marry because of chemistry or because of proximity or because of any number of reasons unrelated to parenting. But I knew if he could be a good father, he’d be a good spouse, too. 

    And, I was right about that, too. 

    For much of the past eighteen years, our adventures have looked a little different: drives around the back roads of Carroll County, GA, or sometimes up through Haralson or down through Heard Counties. Or, in more recent years, a jaunt into Atlanta just because. Kids keep you close to home. 

    The kids need us less these days though. And having reason to go to Grinnell, Iowa twice in two months, along with Austin, Texas now, reminds me:

    The adventure never stopped. 

    And, if I am completely honest: raising three boys that are exact mixes of both me and Jared in their own wildly unique ways, that has been an adventure, too.

    We’re in an interesting season of marriage, now. In some ways, and not just because of the recent travel, it feels like we are dating all over again. 

    Some people get the kids raised and realize they stayed together because of the kids.

    We’re finding that the old us that fell in love in 2003 is still there: the us to hop in the car and go wherever; the us that holds hands walking down the street.

    The us that frankly, doesn’t have to say much out loud to say what has to be said. Even if I am chatty a lot of the time. 

    On our 20th anniversary trip to St. Simons, we came up on some sorority girls on Spring Break one of which snapped a candid photo of us they wanted to share. While we were exchanging contact information another girl asked what advice we would give after 20 years of marriage and I said, “Go to bed mad.” 

    She kind of laughed and looked surprised at that statement, but I stand by it. I would go back to add the “marry someone who will be a good parent bit,” but oh well. It’s true: Go to bed mad and you’re much more likely to actually get some sleep when you need it. 

    I’ve officially known of Jared Price for twenty-three years. Almost half my lifetime. A week and four days from now is the twenty-third anniversary of the day I picked him up at the Atlanta airport for the first time. I can still see him coming up the escalator, beyond the barrier. 

    Our very meeting in person was an adventure in itself, come to think of it. 

    So, this week it is Austin. In two weeks, it will be Grinnell again. Who knows yet about the holidays; there are several options.

    So. In my case, I married the man who offered adventure and a solid, steady partnership. 

    And it is 100% okay that sometimes these days, adventure means grabbing a spoon from the kitchen and heading off to Ingles to pick up a pint of ice cream apiece and sitting in the Ingles parking lot, people-watching. Or, heading off to Aldi for some chocolate, to do the same thing. 

  • Clarion Pointe Hotel in Shreveport West Has the Best Coffee I Have Had in a Long Time

    Adventures…. I did not have to wait for long since Savannah. Or Grinnell.

    Friday I got layers put in my DIY mostly-blunt-cut-with-scattered-ends-hair.

    Since then I have pulled my old trusty old-school curling iron out of retirement.

    I forgot how walking around with a finished look can feel. I prefer the old-school curled-under look I grew up with to the spiral waves of recent years— I would not begin to understand how to operate a flat iron or a curling wand; never owned one and do not plan to make the investment now.

    Jared has a work event in Austin, so I am along for a writer’s retreat.

    We made it as far as Shreveport, Louisiana Sunday night after deciding late Saturday night that getting an early start might be prudent.

    Jared did a search and hit a home run: for less than $100 he found Clarion Pointe at Shreveport West: clean, recently remodeled, close to the airport but with a major police precinct literally next door: our first floor room faced the back side of the station. Probably safest spot in that part of Shreveport. Right off I-20.

    I have been to Austin once; when I was two years old, my parents drove to Austin with me in tow after visiting our Missouri family, to see my Dad’s best friend from high school. I remember arriving late at night, climbing steps to an apartment, and setting up camp on the floor.

    I remember Missouri from that trip too; I remember a cousin a year younger sitting in a high chair at my aunt’s house. It seems like there was a cookie we weren’t happy with each other about involved.

    Memories are strange.

    I nearly stayed home and perhaps should have, but a month ago when Jared made these plans he opted out of the offered flight to drive so I could come.

    We had no idea Abby would get sick.

    Abby is sick. First she refused her regular food. Then she was lethargic and stopped drinking much. She was just not her normal energetic self, so I took her to the vet last Tuesday.

    She snapped at the vet tech, so I asked for something and was given acepromezine, which exacerbated things after I gave it to her for grooming on Wednesday.

    She had a UTI, and has been on her antibiotic since last Tuesday. Friday she went back and was given a special canned GI food, a probiotic, and gabapentin for stress instead of the acepromezine, and we were told she could also have canned chicken if she wouldn’t eat much else. She had pretty well emptied her bowels with normal poop Thursday night but there was a lot of it.

    She downed a half can of the GI food Friday and decided she was done. She grazed at chicken until Sunday morning, when she finally had a normal poop again. She’d eaten well, taken her meds well, and had a normal poop and seemed comfortable, so we left her in the capable hands of our house sitter.

    This morning it was reported she’s had diarrhea in the night and was not interested in food today.

    If she is not better by morning, my mom is taking her back to the vet.

    Elderly dogs are hard. Abby is 13 years old. She is in good attentive care but I hate that I, her person, is not there for her.

    I dared not let Jared do a 14 hour drive by himself though. So the decision to proceed with the trip was made.

    So, adventure. But dampened with worry for my therapy dog, as her therapy person.

  • Being a Responsible Grownup for Once

    So, I did the responsible thing. I am now a single-camera photographer, and I now only have the lenses I will actually use, and we can fill out our budget for the month and pay off some debt while we’re at it. 

    And that also means I am solidly out of the event photography space. 

    I tried to buy myself an identity as a professional photographer, before I eventually circled around to the vocation I originally wanted to begin with: blogging. 

    It took me 18 months or so of back-and-forth to finally wrangle myself out of professional photography. I was low-key kidding myself that the idea of photographing weddings or events with the X-S20, even two of them, was a good idea, anyway. 

    And I went back and forth with myself over selling the second body and the two telephoto lenses for a good long while. Even after I was ready to sell them last week, Jared made me sit on the thought for a full extra week. 

    It’s not a great thing when the buyer at KEH knows who you are by name, as he did me yesterday.

    The gear churning thing has been going on in my case for 13 years. That’s a lot of gear turnover. It was a lot of trying to figure out exactly what style of photography I am interested in; a lot of feeling like I needed to “keep up with the Joneses” of the photography world to prove myself and fit in in ways that never quite happened; a lot of trying to force myself into roles and spaces that aren’t really for me. A lot of wasted money.

    A lot of wasted money over 13 years. 

    And admittedly: the camera technology changes within that 13-year period have been head-spinning. When I started trying to justify camera purchases back in 2012 or so, other local photographers I knew looked down on me because I gravitated toward mirrorless cameras. I definitely felt less-than on more occasions than I can count even though I loved my gear. 

    It’s still pretty funny to me that, when I was gravitating toward mirrorless immediately upon getting into photography in 2011, the rest of the photography world is finally into it, too and DSLR’s are mostly ancient technology now. 

    I did learn a lot the hard way, and I’m trying to be smarter now. 

    I kept a single X-S20 body, the XF 16-55mm f2.8 II, the Viltrox Pro 27mm f1.2, and the XF 50mm f1 lenses. I still have at least 4 Minolta vintage lenses and 2 Cinelux projection lenses too, including the yummy 85mm. I still have my Godox V1F flash. 

    And I just decided I don’t need longer lenses. I don’t enjoy wildlife photography; I’m not physically in the shape to do events anymore. Documentary photography was my first passion and if I’d trusted myself way back in 2012, that’s all I ever would have stuck with to begin with. I can photograph the ducks with the 50mm f1. The 16-55mm f2.8 II has been a more-than-adequate replacement not only for the 16-50mm f2.8-4.8 it replaced, but also it reminds me just enough of my old GF 45-100mm f4 but with the bonus of closer focusing that finally, I do not regret the downgrade back to X Series from GFX. And the Viltrox 27mm f1.2 and XF 50mm f1 definitely make up for the medium format bokeh I lost. 

    Live and learn. I’ve done plenty of that. Jared says none of it was wasted; I learned my tools and photography while I was at it. The expensive way, but I did learn my tools. He’s not wrong there. 

    Jared is way kinder than I deserve. There was actually gracious plenty of embarrassing waste. 

    As a blogger now, I do not need every focal length in the world to tell my stories. I need the right tools. And I’ve got pretty stellar ones. 

    And as for the remaining X-S20: We are making our peace. I’m getting used to the lightness of the X-S20 and the 26mp sensor, and I even finally figured out how to not hate the ISO button on top. I have a silicone skin on my X-S20 so it doesn’t feel so plasticky, which is the worst of the problems from downgrading from the flagship Fuji bodies. 

    I do not need flagship camera bodies moving forward. I just don’t. I didn’t need them to begin with. I don’t spend time out in the elements; I won’t be doing event photography. Camera technology and the variety of cameras available now in 2026 means that it doesn’t require the flagship camera to have even the latest technology in ways that were required a decade ago. Thank goodness. The X-S20 is even fine for video. The X-S line will be super-sufficient moving forward. 

    It’s not quite true that I am a single-camera photographer, either: I still have the Minolta X-E5 that my parents gave me, that they bought to take pictures of me when I was born. And the Yashica Mat-124G that I found on shopgoodwill.com in 2018 or so. And I have a variety of point and shoots that belonged to my grandfather in the 1980s probably, and I still have, in working order, his Ansco Shur-Flash from the 1960s. 

    The film cameras might come out more often now, actually, now that I am more interested in photography for personal purposes. 

    Trying to be a grown-up about a lot of things these days. It only took nearly 47 years. Too long, but got to start somewhere.

  • More House Drama

    I said in my last post there was house drama. 

    I didn’t waste time creating some more house drama at home, in figuring out exactly what we can do to make our own house more appealing, instead of ditching the whole thing and taking a dramatic loss on our equity to move elsewhere

    I do still love our house. It is still my dream house. 

    First up: tree work. We’re having about seven zones of tree growth taken out in our yard sometime in November or December, and several other branches cut back. 

    Our yard is a mess, and a constant project we mostly ignore. 

    The Bradford Pear by our mailbox in the photo above is going, the entire island of growth at the corner of our yard, that sprouted up in the daffodil bed by the stop sign, is going. A tree that is growing toward the house, that has branches touching the house, by the corner of the driveway turnaround, is going. Two small trees close to the driveway on the other side are going. An overgrown holly bush at the corner of our house by our garage is going because we can’t keep it cut back. Several trees in our front yard are getting trimmed back because they keep dropping dead branches. A stump from a previously cut tree at the corner of the house, as well as a dead bush that grew up in other stumps, is going.

    There’s another tree that is likely going, on the back side of the house, because it is dying and is overtaking the deck. 

    And, ultimately, a whole lot of other growth in the yard is going, too, but we have only had our tree guy, Cole with Arbor West, out for a quote so far. We have someone else coming to give us a quote on tearing out a whole bunch of overgrowth we can’t deal with anymore by our driveway, and potentially at the beds closer to the house depending on budget. 

    I’d ultimately like to do the same thing we did at the Holmes Drive house here: put down landscaping fabric or plastic in the beds closest to the house, put in some very small, tasteful, hardy bushes that won’t need tending for the foreseeable future, and fill in with the lighter colored rocks, and leave it all alone. 

    I do not have the interest or energy for a high maintenance yard. 

    The back is a whole project that is going to have to wait for years in the future. Not a top priority. Except for that tree that is dying that is overtaking the deck, because I do want to get the deck in usable shape. 

    I asked Jared to get the chainsaw out and take down the old swing frame that was left from the previous owners, as well as the stubs for the old fencing that appears to have never been put in on the other side, this afternoon. He says it is not a chainsaw sort of job but that we can see about it. Today is a good day for working out in the yard. And it’s up to me to spot him while he cleans out the gutters now, since the big boys are both gone off to school. Oliver is still really too little to hold the ladder for that particular job. We’ll tackle that job this afternoon probably if the rain holds off.

    I told Liam that we probably wouldn’t have to cut the grass until October when he cut it the week he left for Grinnell, but I’m probably cutting the corner segment this afternoon.

    Our yard has been embarrassing for a long time, and it’s time to do something about it. 

    I have a name to talk about a quote for tearing out the tile and putting down matching LVP in the kitchen and laundry and powder rooms.

    My house wizard helper cleaner extraordinaire is coming on Monday to help me get the inside of the house in presentable condition.

    I need to get serious about laundry after ignoring it most of the last couple of weeks, too. I do not know how Jared and I go through so much clothing in such a short time. Oliver’s laundry is remarkably under control, but ours is ridiculous.

    We talked to Liam this morning. He seemed bored to talk to us, but it was good to hear his voice. He said he’s met some nice people. He said the food is alright, good variety. 

    Porter is going out with friends tonight. I am glad he is getting out, even if I do worry. I will be glad when he has his own car to get around. 

    Oliver went to Cartersville for cross country this morning and while he was unhappy with his time, I’m just glad he’s participating. 

  • Housing Drama

    I frequently feel like turning our lives upside down.

    Recently this has looked like house hunting. Forget the fact that our house is not in show-ready condition. Forget that we’d need to do a lot to it that we want to do anyway, to get it in show-ready condition.

    Forget the fact that if it were in show-ready condition, I probably wouldn’t want to move anyway.

    House hunting is my sign that I need to work on my house.

    So, someone is coming Sunday or Monday to give me a quote on the major landscaping we want to have done.

    I have texted our tree guy about the couple of trees we want to have taken out and the several that need trimming back, and he’s coming soon to see what needs to be done.

    I am likely to tackle the painting of our house inside myself, and am on the active hunt for someone to paint the exterior, including the chimney. I want to go dark, like a charcoal or deep cocoa, to match the existing shutters, instead of the current cream color our trim is. While we do exterior painting, I want to replace gutters to match.

    The Everlife XL Cyrus Fauna LVP we had installed throughout the house is still in production, so I want to have the tile in the kitchen and laundry room and powder room replaced with that, to match the rest of the existing flooring. I’m actually thinking to keep the bathroom tile; it is super cute and cannot be replaced and in much better shape than the tile and grout in the kitchen and laundry rooms.

    I’d like to have beadboard on the laundry room walls, to cover the existing wallpaper. The wallpaper itself has grown on me quite a lot but there are spots that have had to be cut up or whatever over the years, prior to us moving in, that cannot be repaired. The powder room wallpaper is staying forever.

    It’s time to replace the combo microwave and oven wall unit that died circa 2022 (complete with Oliver’s chicken nuggets still in it, unable to retrieve– gross, I know) replaced. We’ve investigated that project before and it’s going to require woodworking magic because newer units do not come in the dimensions our older unit is. I have no idea how that will get accomplished and salvage our current cabinetry footprint.

    It’s time to give the deck and the outdoor furniture we never sit in a complete overhaul.

    It’s time to clean up the garage so we don’t track yard stuff in all the time into the laundry room.

    My house is nearly an empty nest, and it doesn’t actually require a downsize in our case. We have one of the golden 2.875% interest rates. The house itself is solid. I feel safe here. We live in a nice neighborhood.

    But, my brain goes searching for drama because it refuses to accept that maybe I’m safe; maybe things are actually going well in my life; maybe I can relax and be creative and just enjoy life.

    I’m considering re-claiming Porter’s room as an office, to tear down the faux wall/ bookshelf that our friend built us when we moved in, in 2021 ,so that Porter could have a room. We’d need to leave a day bed or something in there, but the wall could come down and we could redecorate. The house was sold as a 3-bedroom with an office and if we are staying here long-term, it would be lovely as just that.

    I think the windows throughout the house are actually fine, but the double doors in the living room need to be replaced.

    The house is long enough that it really needs a second AC unit altogether, for the boys’ end of the house.

    We need to see about the drainage around the house eventually. We had a French drain and sump pump installed under the house in 2024 and that is helping, but the exterior drains that were here prior to our purchasing the house are all clogged and probably need replacing eventually. That is not a today or even this decade project probably. But it’s on the list.

    We need to have driveway work done around the entire house, including something to prevent water from pooling in the center of the back driveway such that I do believe it is seeping into the ground causing moisture problems to the foundation on that side of the house. The front driveway needs to be repaired from sink holes and the front walkway probably needs to be entirely redone because of tree root or other moisture issues, not sure which.

    So today, I am plotting major projects that are constructive, instead of plotting ways to throw our equity down the drain. When we bought this house in November of 2021– a house that I picked out– I swore up and down this was going to be the home we died in, that we lived forever in. And by 2023 or so I was ready to throw all that away to move to Atlanta. Now I am circling back to the idea of staying, even as our children move out and onto bigger things in their own lives: this is a phenomenal footprint, ready for aging in place, two families already did that. And if I did all the work that needs to be done, then I wouldn’t even want to move anyway.

    Most of them won’t get done right away, though I am serious about the landscaping issues because I am tired of it looking like we live in a jungle in the middle of a nice neighborhood.

    But I can certainly dream, and I’ve got plenty to do regardless in the meantime.

    And just about the time we get all that done, I won’t want move at all ever, ever. And maybe it won’t all ever get done. But anything we do will be better than the alternative of just running away from it all.

    After all, this is my dream house. I haven’t seen any house that I’ve liked any better, it’s a great size, it’s great for entertaining even if we do it infrequently. And that 2.875% interest rate is irreplaceable.