Caroline Price

Randomness: What’s Happening These Days

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randomness

I don’t even want to talk about the state of the world these days. From my vantage point, it’s not my place to do the talking. I just want to listen.

Randomness: I’ve Been Depressed

Mental health has been a heavy subject over the past several weeks in this household. I started therapy the week after the shutdown started in March and it’s been a life-giving experience. However, reliance on certain medications has made for bizarre, contradictory dreams about the past and fictional ways the past and the present could intersect and that is bothersome. Sometimes they are very vivid. It makes it so that I dread falling asleep at night. When I wake up and it becomes very clear that parts of my subconscious conflict with where my conscious mind is firmly at these days, it depresses me that I haven’t made more progress. Apparently it’s a self-trust issue. I don’t care to be more specific at the moment.

I’ve read two books that have helped immensely: Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis and I only lack a little bit to finish up Embrace Your Weird by Felicia Day. Next up will be Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis.

I’ve dropped the Ten Percent Happier subscription mainly because I got to where I wasn’t religiously listening to it every day and $14.99 is a lot to pay for a meditation app I don’t use with regularity. But, I learned a lot while I was using it that was useful and I feel like the investment we made was well worth it. I continue to be interested in mindfulness: in fact, it is a core tool in my self-care at the moment.

School

Porter starts rookie camp this week and I am happy he will get to see his friends and I am glad they are encouraging the wearing of masks. It was a conflicted thing to decide to let him go, but he is the most mature 13 year old I have ever met and he will do his best to take care of himself and maintain appropriate social distancing. But it’s awfully hard to let the reins go as a parent– he’s been virtually nowhere besides Grandma and Grandpa’s and for rides in the car since March 13.

Randomness: thinking ahead to school for the 2020-2021 year, we’ve tossed around a variety of ideas. Or, at least, I have tossed around ideas. I considered online school for the boys, which Jared and my family of course were not in favor of. And the boys do not want to go to a different school than their friends, and I do not relish the idea of any type of homeschooling, even if it means a virtual teacher-led series of courses.

Ultimately, we’ve decided that we will do whatever the school system deems appropriate, but I have made the decision that I will quit being the Mom that says, “Under all circumstances you will ride the bus.” I have been that mom for years and years. But social distancing is impossible on the bus. So, for this school year and probably until there is a COVID vaccine, the boys will be car riders.

Randomness: House

We closed on our house four years ago today. I can’t say that it doesn’t seem like it’s been that long, but it doesn’t feel like it’s been four years since I’ve stepped foot in our old house.

Randomness: this house that I was so sure we would struggle to pay for. This house that has my inheritance from my Nannie and GaGa wrapped up in it so that it feels like they are still taking care of us. This house that we have worked so hard, piece by piece, to make over as is our style. This house that gives our boys each their own space and privacy.

This house has brought with it a sense of stability that we didn’t have in our earlier married and family years. It’s just a house and I have gotten away at times from the gratitude that I do feel in regard to this house, in dreaming of other spaces. But today, all I feel is that gratitude.

Studio, Edited: Inspiration

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a new corner of the studio

So. The studio is going through an evolution. I needed to be inspired by this space, and some rearranging gave me that inspiration.

So now, I sit in the studio, with a new writing corner facing the light that is coming through the bay window, in a beautiful room surrounded by furniture and objects that all have meaning for me. I have spent a lot of time in the last few weeks sitting in the dark corner of the office that is mine, a space that gets most of its light from the overhead pendant lights. It is wonderful to share that space with Jared, too, for writing surfaces and larger projects. No looking back from converting the dining room to an office.

This little corner of the studio, though, it gets beautiful light all day long and there is something about spending time in a beautiful space that gives me a kind of inspiration and energy. And sitting here, I am facing my Nannie’s pretty furniture in the opposite corner. Things are easily moved if there is a client need.

Subtle Changes to the Blog

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subtle changes

Subtle changes to the blog are afoot.

*Sigh* I never know whether I am coming or going.

So.

I am reading Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis and it’s great but it’s got me thinking about goals.

For over ten years now, I have dreamed of being a blogger. And for the better part of ten years now, there’s been some sort of blog in some sort of iteration. I keep jumping domain names and site names and kitschy kinds of themes and logos and all that.

But:

The real goal behind the first camera purchase was so I could have decent pictures for my blog like the pretty mommy blogs had.

So.

Subtle Blog Changes: Business Isn’t Going Away

I mean, I love my photography clients and I have no intention of closing up shop. My gallery and pricing information will remain as a subsection on this site.

It just also means that some days I may write about lifestyle issues or I may gripe about mental health issues or I may post about a house project. Or I may post about getting in shape, which is another goal/dream.

What is Changing….

I guess in that way, things aren’t changing. I was already writing about those things. But, this blog is about more than promoting my photography business. That part is changing, and I am glad about it. Because the blog was the dream long before the photography was the dream.

Also: comments should be open now. I had them turned off intentionally before.

That’s all.

love, Caroline

Jared Says I Should Start Critiquing My Work. So Here is One

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Jared says I need to start critiquing my own photos.
I don’t even know where to start. I just know what I like.

So…. I processed the color version of this photo first. As with most of my indoor photos, I prefer the black and white version of this photo.

Here is where I whine to Jared and say, “That’s all I know what to say about it.”

There’s nothing wrong with the color version except that Liam’s walls are yellow and I feel like the yellow calls attention to itself. I hate the color of Liam’s walls– they are the color we inherited the house as– but Liam loves his room as it is, so it doesn’t get painted. But Liam is the subject of the picture, not the yellow wall.

In both pictures, I love that his desk faces his window so you get the light right on his face.

I think the light is what makes this work as a black and white photo. I like my black and whites to be punchy with lots of contrast. I used the Mastin Fuji original on the bottom photo just like I did with the top photo, but instead of setting the film simulation to Provia as I did with the top photo (Mastin’s instructions to Fuji users in Capture One instead of “Film Standard”), I used Acros. Then I upped the contrast in Capture One. The color version then went into Photoshop for some color adjustment, but the black and white version went straight to Topaz Denoise.

Neither of them are particularly strong photos. Liam was playing D&D online with friends at the time and I wanted an in-action shot and that is hard when a kid’s attention is focused online. But it is definitely true to this time of the pandemic, when he has been grasping for all the friends he can connect with virtually that he can.

If I had it to reprocess (and I do, but I probably won’t), I would lighten the shadows. You can’t tell the back of his head from where the headphones end. I don’t know. I probably make my shadows too soft most of the time.

I’m going to start taking more pandemic pictures. It’s time to start working through the boredom, even when that means pictures of Liam at his computer and Porter with his Chromebook in his bedroom.

Twelve

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This boy turned 12 today.

Liam is a pretty incredible kid. I’m pretty lucky to be his mom. I’m so proud of the young man he is becoming.

Little Changes: It’s Still a Pandemic, People

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Photography

I don’t hate the X-T20 anymore. In fact, I don’t even hate it on auto anymore, even though auto will only give me jpeg files.

I put the 50mm f2 on the X-T20. Perfect little on-the-go kit for the purse. The battery grip can go back on the X-H1.

The 50mm f2 will make me love any (Fuji) camera. I am so hard-headed. Jared was right, as usual.

Portra 800 120 film arrived today. I have one more roll of Fuji 400H but since it has been discontinued, I wanted something I knew I could get more of. I am excited about being able to shoot film inside if I so choose.

The June 7 styled shoot cannot come quickly enough.

Hair

We all need haircuts, probably. Except Jared, though I did tell him I was used to the beard enough that if he wanted to go bald again I wouldn’t pitch a fit. Liam needs it the worst…. his little sideburns go way past his ears now. I asked him if he wanted to grow his hair out, but he said no.

Sally Beauty confused me, and now I have two silver conditioners, one on the way from Sally Beauty and one arrived from Amazon today. Oh well. All will get used.

The purple/red combo is out of my hair (again), just in time for the first of the silver, which is processing in my hair for the first time as I type.

I don’t know what I am doing with my hair. Finch is patient with me whatever I do in between visits but this has been a doozy. And it’s not over. I have promised her I will not cut layers at home (anymore). But I’m enjoying the home color pigment conditioner experiments.

Shoes

Winter shoes I am set for for the foreseeable future. However, summer shoes….

I thought I was good. I loved my Bass Delilah sandals I found last season. However, the lining is breaking up a year after heavy use. *sigh* $12.99 BareTraps from ShopGoodwill are on the way to the rescue, hopefully.

I should start assessing child feet condition and their shoes. Especially considering Porter has grown like an inch a week over the course of the past six-eight weeks.

House

We are definitely set to do vinyl soffit. I may work new kitchen and bar counters and backsplash into the project somehow.

We still entertain ourselves by looking at Zillow. More so than actual house (though a lot bit house), location has us sold on staying put. It’s a silly habit. But, we have gotten in the habit of taking Abby out with us when we go on drives. Trying to make her understand that the car goes more places than the vet.

Dating

Speaking of drives, we are definitely moving into a new phase of marriage. The panicky, everything-is-an-emergency baby years are over, thank God. We are looking forward to the day when we can ship the boys off to Grandma Robin and Grandpa Keith’s for the occasional night, but it’s still a different world that we can occasionally escape for an hour leaving Porter in charge.

Nights at the Fox and Hot Donuts Now have been replaced by escapes to Dairy Queen and the marina. It’s way more than enough.

Random Rambling

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Stomp Rocket mid-air. Jared says this looks like a cloud dog caught the Stomp Rocket.

Hallelujah…..Oliver has decided it is potentially okay to play outside for short periods of time.

It is time to bite the bullet and make that summer schedule. We have loafed around for over two months now. And man, band camp is gonna hit Porter hard in the face if we don’t get him some cardio quick.

Summer Schedule

So….summertime modified.

Disney is out. The rec center pool is out. The Greenbelt is totally in. Play in the yard is totally in. Time on the deck with the dogs is totally in. Spending the night at Grandma and Grandpa’s– yes, please!!

Time for more reading. Less screen time.

For two months, there has been no limit on screen time. Screen time right now means connecting with friends and that is uber important right now. But, 30 minutes of outside time reading sounds about right. In addition to walking time.

Showers. Let me just be candid and say hygiene is tough to enforce for three boys. Luckily, the one with the stinkiest potential right now doesn’t make a fuss.

Also…. Porter is starting to resemble a grownup. In my book, that means he is old enough to handle his laundry. This is something to experiment with this week. For sure.

Up by 7 am even though Porter will be up by 5. Bedtime by 10 except for Saturday nights.

It is Saturday! Which means my SNL date with Porter and now Liam. Jared makes himself scarce because he cringes. HA. 🙂

Photography

I am so excited about opening up again in June!

But…… the camera can’t wait for June. I had it out yesterday and got some fun shots of Oliver…..

Note the bug band.

The 50mm f2 lens purchase at Click Away was my favorite purchase ever. TOTALLY worth it. There is some argument to make that the 56mm f1.2 is better but I struggled with that lens so much. This one handles action shots with little room for error. I am SO happy with it. It lives on my go-everywhere camera.

I am struggling with my extra body, the X-T20. It serves its purpose as a backup camera but I hate having cameras just sit and frankly, I hate the smallness of the X-T20. I am tempted to sell it back to KEH. Jared says that would be a mistake. He’s probably right. And it did handle the Industar 69 28mm f2.8 last week great– that lens is still on it, on my desk. There’s nothing wrong with the camera, which is the argument for keeping it– it’s insurance.

I’m toying with investing at some point here in a Godox system because my Neewer system is biting the dust and my Fuji flash also seems to have broken– it spins. It works, but it spins.

I need to practice in the studio.

I should clarify for re-opening. The studio is not re-opening in June. Haven’t decided when that will re-open. Will probably wait until after Labor Day.

There is a styled shoot at Englund Estate June 7. I am SO excited about that!! It will be good to see familiar faces and it will be awesome to have some practice and some more portfolio shots.

The Beloved 124G

Yashica

I think I will get some more film and take the Yashica with me to the styled shoot. I love what that camera produces so much. I’m just SO “must have results immediately” that incorporating film is so hard. I have decided to stop the Goodwill hunt for a 35mm……I’ve had so many of them and most of them have the light meters nonfunctioning or some other such something wrong, it’s just not worth it. The Yashica and that medium format goodness is where it’s at. Ideally, I would like to save my pennies for a Pentax 645 or something like that. But, then I also like the GFX system too and that’s a win-the-lottery that I don’t even play kind of want. The reality is that now that I cleaned up the Yashica, it is perfect for my purposes. But, it would be fun to have some styled shoot pictures with it so I can have wedding-type film pictures to add to the gallery.

I hate to have staggered turnaround times for product, but I think the film return times will have to be closer to 4 weeks. That may mean that USB drives don’t get sent out until after the film is returned and that there are additions to galleries. But, I like having gallery delivery within 2-3 weeks. That’s almost impossible with the film, however.

Real Estate

I haven’t stopped looking at Zillow. However, it is becoming less of a “call Dena about such and such address” and more of a curiosity kind of thing. I am in serious Dave Ramsey snowball mode at the moment.

However…..Jared found a spot where we have a leak between the gutter and the soffit (I think that is what it is called). The other corner by the garage was already problematic when we bought this house two weeks from four years from now. (!) It is time to bite the bullet and get all the soffit replaced with vinyl (ours is the original wood). And probably replace the gutters as well.

At any rate, Oliver is loving our yard again and that’s the whole reason I fell in love with this house. SO.

What is Helping

“Ten Percent Happier” is helping. And so is paper journaling. And so is therapy. And….the back deck, particularly journaling on the deck.

I am off to yoga before SNL. Wish me luck.

love, Caroline