• Maximalist on Jewelry, Not So Much on Beauty Products

    This post is expanded from a Facebook post.

    Jared and I went shopping at Ross last week, and Jared picked me out two outfits. This floral dress is one of his choices; I snapped the photo while we were on our way to Costco today.

    My husband is biased, but he commented more than once when we were in Costco about how lovely I looked today. I’m pretty sure he liked seeing me in a dress he picked out himself.

    And Jared’s comments reminded me that while I am 46, I am mostly rejecting typical beauty regimens for women in their 40s.

    Here’s my routine:

    I mostly exclusively use Trader Joe’s 3-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, and body wash for their intended purposes as my sole product in the shower.

    I found TIRTIR milk toner at Costco probably a year ago, and I use it on my face immediately after I get out of the shower. It came in a double-pack, and I only just opened the second bottle in the last probably three weeks.

    Then, I use L’Oreal Pro Longer 10-in-1 cream on my hair before I comb it out, and then I spray my hair all over with Kenra Sugar Spray, and then comb it out, still wet. I used to use the entire L’Oreal Pro Longer line but 1) it’s massively expensive and 2) it weighed my hair down too much.

    Next, I put probably 5-6 drops of Trader Joe’s jojoba oil on the palm of my hand and I rub it slightly into my hands and then rub it onto my neck and chest area. Then I used what’s left on my fingertips to coat the last two inches of my hair lightly in the jojoba oil film.

    These days, I am mostly letting my hair air dry unless I specifically want a blow-dried look and know I will want to leave my hair down.

    But most days these days, I am putting my hair up in a French pin. The Ulta ones I have posted about in other posts are my standard go-to’s right now.

    I don’t use any makeup at all, other than a Neutrogena lip oil and I do use that religiously.

    I am eleven months post-surgical-menopause, and I’ve noticed in the last two months that my hair is a different consistency now: it’s always been baby fine, but now it feels exceptionally delicate and its graying process is vastly faster now. I’m not upset by this in the least, but it’s made this routine all the more important. When my weight fluctuates I do notice aging in my neck, and my bone health must also be delicate because my scoliotic spine is definitely not stable right now.

    I’ve tried other products, and here I will admit something I rarely think about but is true: I haven’t actually used lotion on my hands or other real moisturizers in a decade, other than the jojoba oil and the TIRTIR toner. My hands always looked young, but they still pretty much look like they did in my 30s.

    I tried The Ordinary’s line probably two years ago and that didn’t last more than a couple of weeks. My skin is naturally, pre-menopause, very greasy, and all that stuff did was weigh my skin down and make me break out.

    I also gave up most makeup over a decade ago. For a couple of years recently I used a blush cream most days, but I gave that up probably eight months ago and honestly, I feel better and I think I look better because of it.

    My diet is also a factor in all this, but that is a post for another time.

    A note about my hand photo: yes, my jewelry is maximalist. No, in the grand scheme of things, it is not expensive. Jared kindly upgraded my original center diamond to a lab diamond that was less than $200 for our 20th, that we had set in a 4-prong setting I found on Etsy, and the eternity rings are moissanite and sterling, and the index finger ring was a $32 Kudzu find that I treasure because I was out shopping with a friend the afternoon I found it. I like shiny, not expensive. Jewelry on a budget is a whole other post I could do, but not today.

    **Edited to add: Not a sponsored post. I just really like the products I talk about here, and the places I really shop on a regular basis.

    **Also adding: I am low-key anxious about my hair turning silver and its much more delicate texture. The consolation I get is that I never have gotten caught up in the highlighting or dyeing treadmill, so the natural silver streaks are somewhat of a novelty that is happening gradually. There will never be a root line or a synthetic transition I have to battle.

    **Also also: Jared really likes shopping for me. I sent him to ThredUp tonight to look around at dresses and he’s sent me probably a dozen links to dresses. All of which were overpriced, but it is the thought that counts, right?

  • Rebranding, Overpriced Houses, and Spring Break Shenanigans

    I’ve been silent because I had little to write about.

    I mean, lots is going on in my life, but I don’t feel about writing about it. It’s not really my stories to tell.

    Suffice it to say that I have unspeakably generous family, who is very graciously giving to us.

    It is Spring Break and last weekend, Jared and I started thinking about going on a mini-adventure. We talked about going to Destin as a day-drive.

    And then for reasons I won’t write about, it became a good idea to take a two-day drive: from Carrollton, Georgia to Olathe, Kansas.

    So Tuesday, I drove from Carrollton to Olathe, in a single day, and then on Wednesday I drove from Olathe to Carrollton, again, in the single day. I was a sole driver both days. They were long days but traffic was good and the weather was fabulous.

    For what it’s worth: State Line Plaza in Mammoth Springs, Arkansas is an awesome place to stop for gas and restroom facilities and a small snack.

    Jared and I did tour the house we bought in 2007 today as it is for sale, and its current state both made me sad and very glad we sold when we did. While I’ve been waxing nostalgic and daydreaming about downsizing back into the very house I brought two of my three brand new babies home to, it became clear today that that house is at least $70k overpriced probably due to its condition and needed repairs.

    We actually toured three houses today (that’s what happens when one of your best friends is a very generous real estate agent) and all that happened is that Jared sat me at the end of our driveway when we got home and had me look at our house and tell him that yes, I do actually think the house we currently own is the nicest of the houses we looked at today. So I am re-energized about staying here forever. But Jared says that we just have to start with staying here tonight and that claiming “forever” is the black-and-white thinking that gets me in trouble.

    The only other news is that I have re-branded my business again. I dropped the “Luxe” from my LLC name and just named the LLC after myself. Seems more appropriate to my current life stage.

    I guess that’s all for tonight.

  • Twenty-One Years

    Photo by Virginia Hall. Re-edits by me.

    The view in this photograph doesn’t exist anymore.

    And I suppose anniversaries can be like that, too.

    This photo is standing close to the arch at Epworth-By-The-Sea at St. Simons Island. We are standing facing the arch, with Virginia facing those beautiful Live Oaks in the background.

    Standing in this very spot now, there are condos in the background now in 2026 where there was only woods in 2005.

    Not all progress is positive. Even if I am a curmudgeon about progress in general, especially when it mostly only benefits rich people.

    Today was not an easy day. I have been really sick (thus the COVID test picture and post that went viral on Facebook, from the other post– last check there were over 309,800 views on that post).

    Today was our 21st anniversary, and I always get extremely anxious on special days.

    And, Jared had taken the day off (and tomorrow) to be with me all day, and Jared got called into work for an emergency. Which I didn’t mind later in the moment.

    But as typical for special occasions, there were fights last night.

    I got scared because Aquaguard came to inspect our crawlspace encapsulation, and this kid that graduated with Porter, who probably hasn’t even been on the job very long at all, tried to tell just that there are problems with our foundation.

    And, there very well might be problems. But probably not to the extent that the kid tried to scare us into buying a solution into. We will hire an independent structural engineer company when we have funds to do so. There are no external signs that there are problems, and with our house being 32 years old, these “issues” may have gone unnoticed for years upon years.

    And that sent me into a spiral of feeling like crap about being unemployable, and I posted a not very wise Facebook post that I have since archived, after Jared and I had been fighting for hours, about 11 PM last night.

    And I woke Jared up after crying myself to sleep at about 2:30 AM, and Jared hadn’t been asleep very long himself at that point.

    So, we were not set up for a very good day together.

    The day was not a loss; we had a lovely time at Gallery Row for lunch.

    But there was more fighting later in the day.

    I have high expectations for special days like anniversaries, and I’m hoping to tone them down for future events so as to not cause problems like happened today.

    But now that the day is over, I can calm down, and we can go back to real life.

    It is Easter weekend, and I am still really not feeling well– I finally called a Telehealth urgent care on Tuesday and got an antibiotic for the secondary sinus infection I have developed. But I’m still far from 100%.

    We may not make it to Good Friday service at church like planned, and I’m hoping for a better next couple of days than the past couple of days.

    I suppose having had 21 anniversaries at this point, there was bound to be a hard day mixed in somewhere.

    Neither of us even made the joke that our marriage is old enough to drink today.

  • I Didn’t Take the Test Apart

    I am sick. Oliver, our youngest, tested positive for rhinovirus last Sunday, and I was the lucky recipient of his germs in the household. Nobody else was as fortunate.

    And I don’t know what it is about colds, but this is not the first time that I have completely lost my voice in the last year, even, when I was sick.

    And because I read that the new COVID variant, ‘Cicada,’ is spreading, after a day of feeling awful yesterday, I broke out one of the COVID tests we keep on hand. Because yes, we still occasionally test when one of us is sick.

    And as I stood there waiting for the test to develop, I second-guessed myself. Had I used enough of the test liquid before I inserted the swab? Had I done the twirly thing in my nose enough? I even found myself, once I was sure the time was passed enough, pushing some more of the liquid up from the bottom of the test.

    And with that, I was re-living the massively anxious pregnancy test years all over again, when I’d wonder if I’d used enough urine to make the test work right.

    So, I went to Facebook and posted this:

    “My potential childbearing years (only counting from marriage on) were 2005 to 2014. But only having a tubal in 2014 didn’t stop me from being paranoid clear through 2024 or so.

    And because the majority of those years were before digital pregnancy tests were not cost prohibitive….

    There is a very specific type of anxiety that arises whenever I have to do a COVID test.

    And I know very well to not even bother going to get Jared to ask him if he sees what I see, because my eyes and brain are VERY well trained to see a second line that is not there.

    Because I think I see one.

    I’ve held my phone flashlight up to it to try to see if that makes it appear.

    And it takes all my restraint not to take the test apart to see if I can see a line that way.

    Whoever came up with the mechanism for COVID tests was NOT sensitive to a couple of generations’ worth of us who did this countless times, trying to will a second line to appear.

    Just saying. 🤣

    And 2026 me can be mildly amused but early 2006 me would have been severely distraught that this is a way we have to routinely test for sickness.”

    I’ve spent a good portion of this week monitoring my analytics: a fruitless exercise, much like taking pregnancy tests apart. But I went to look 24 hours after the post, and apparently I’ve struck a chord with over 12,000 other women who’ve probably taken tests apart or begged their husbands to see a line that isn’t really there, too.

    I’m not used to writing things that people listen to. Or maybe I’m not used to using my voice in ways that are both constructive and vulnerable. I frequently write vulnerable things, but I am equally likely to yell in writing about the injustices than to find something to laugh at. And, now that the years are past, it is easier to see the humor in the very real anxiety I still feel about pregnancy and COVID tests.

    While I’m not really thinking I have COVID, I still wish I could will a second line to appear. I suppose that anxious urge is literally never going away, even though I am almost a year post-hysterectomy.

    And after 48 hours squeaking as I talk, I am ready for my voice to come back.