• The Severing

    July 8, 2026.

    I didn’t set out for today to be a before and after day.

    And really, not much has changed about life.

    Except it also feels like everything has changed.

    I used Byron Katie’s The Work to figure out that the entire past four years, I have been attempting to do something with my subconscious that I haven’t really succeeded in the past 28 years to do:

    I have been attempting to decide it was okay to not want someone to matter anymore. And, more: I have been attempting to decide that it was okay for me to not matter to them anymore, too.

    And, well….. I think today they don’t matter anymore anymore, and equally: it is okay on my end for me to not matter to them anymore, either.

    And, well, does that mean that is what true closure looks like? I don’t really know.

    Forgiveness is one thing, but forgiveness doesn’t always look like irrelevance.

    For a lot of the last several months, forgiveness for me has looked like, well, a trophy. A “Look! I did it! Be proud of me!” kind of thing.

    But now, I’m realizing: I’m the protagonist of this story. Antagonists come and go, and that particular antagonist exited stage right a long, long, long time ago. 

    Almost four years ago I discovered this particular person following me on Linkedin, and that opened a can of worms I never dreamed prior would be opened ever again.

    And, actually, that four-year process has brought me to today, where I can decide that it was actually the decision I made, not that person’s actions in any way, that were notable and interesting about the stories in question.

    And, well….looking at these situations in that light is a new way of thinking, and it feels like a breath of fresh air in a stagnant coffin. 

    Because reframing the entire sequence over since 1998, in a “and this is what I did next” kind of way, makes the entire thing seem like a superhero novel, not a tragedy at all. 

    So…..severing.

    I like the photo above, and I’ve taken several in this style on our jaunt to Savannah this week while Jared is at a conference. This particular photo was taken right in our River Street Inn hotel room a few minutes ago. 

    I figured out finally this morning that the reason I like it is because it resembles my natural, uncorrected severe near-sightedness— it most closely resembles the real way I see the world.

    I’m going to be taking an awful lot more photos just in this kind of style moving forward. 

    And, I got my camera tattoo touched up this morning, and it doesn’t look like a moderately embarrassing mistake anymore, at all— it looks like a beautiful, unique rangefinder. 

    And you know, the one thing that has struck me also throughout this entire day, is the uncanny prescience of my own intuition. When I shift the story back onto what I did, the thing I come back to is the decision to choose Jared. The reality is that it does send chills down my spine, exactly how casually I dismissed the other guy’s question to talk about marriage in that Marriott hotel room in September of 2003. I don’t recall a long silence before I told him “no,” and that there had been too many lies, and that I was talking to a man (Jared) and I wanted to see where it might go. I didn’t think hard about it, I didn’t get emotional at the time, and I didn’t feel sadness or fear or even consider that that was essentially the end of the road with any future with that man at all. 

    I simply said, “no,” and went about my life, promptly to go home and message my now husband, to come invite him to meet me in person a week later.

    Because that is the intuition that has saved my life more than once. 

    That is the angle of the stories waiting to be told. 

  • Hello, Daily Forever Boots

    I’ve been on a boot kick for about two years now, wearing only my Aérosoles Daria boots near daily for a year and a half or so. I had two pair: one brown, one faux patent leather. I wore the brown pair so much that the sole came apart from the boot and had to be tossed. The faux patent leather ones are still in the shoe rotation.

    But I am on a buy it less often kick, and trying to buy better stuff that will last.

    And I love my 10 inch LL Bean Bean boots, so I went looking for a taller version. And they exist…. In the form of a 16 inch boot sold in the men’s hunting section called Maine Hunting Shoes. But unfortunately they were discontinued in 2025.

    I was undeterred.

    eBay was the first stop, and there was a multitude of antique varieties, some with the original Vibram soles.

    Poshmark was where I found these beauties. Apparently practically unworn, they smell brand new and the soles are clean.

    Score. I haven’t given up on the 23-year old yellow Cherry Bomb Bamboo galoshes; they’ll stay in the closet for fun days.

    But I am pretty sure I can live in these Maine Hunting Shoes daily forever. ❤️

    Also: in the grand scheme of potentially-forever shoes, were not expensive. I paid $123 including shipping and tax on Poshmark.

    I wore them for six hours today after disinfecting them, and they’re fantastic, comfortable, breathable enough with wool socks, and I can even get them on and off all by myself even though my spine is 2/3 fused.

  • Can’t Buy Purses in a Store Anymore

    So buy it/make it once doesn’t mean zero maintenance.

    When I made this 6-ply jute crochet jute bag in February or so, I waxed it with melted beeswax then.

    But beeswax wears down, so it has to be reapplied occasionally.

    And the waxing cuts down on the jute shedding but does not eliminate it. So, the whole bag has to be emptied and vacuumed out and I used tape to catch the fibers still caught after the vacuuming.

    And then I melted my wax, and used the dedicated brush I have for this purpose and went over the whole thing in the kitchen with melted beeswax. Then I went to our bathroom and used the hair dryer on high to melt the beeswax into the bag.

    I did the waxing process twice when I made the bag to begin with, but doing it again every few months is probably going to be a good thing, at least for a while.

    And while I didn’t do it when I put the straps on, I used leather conditioner on the straps today, too.

    The longer luggage strap is permanently affixed— I used 2-part jeweler’s epoxy to permanent close the clasps to the bag.

    Mama and Daddy gave me the 16 inch Holdfast stabilizer in 2018 or 2019, and it is perfect for days that I want a shorter strap— the luggage strap tucks in the bottom of the bag just right, as seen in this photo:

    The Holdfast strap comes off on days I have my laptop in the bag, or on days it’s otherwise packed to the brim with camera gear.

    In general though, Jared’s lining has proven to be hardy and holds up to my wear— I did manage to get an ink stain in the pocket and I tried the rubbing alcohol trick and while it didn’t completely do away with it, the stain does look more like a color block than a pen accident. The stain is deep enough to not be visible at all and is light, so it is just a part of the bag now.

    I’ve decided when the lining does eventually wear out, I will use stitch removers and cut it out and we’ll just make a new one.

    This bag is big enough to hold anything I want to carry on a regular basis…. If I remove the Holdfast strap I can fit my MacBook, a notebook, my paper calendar, and my camera with a lens attached. If I don’t have the MacBook in it I can carry a camera (or two) with two lenses in pouches.

    I kept 4 other purses for days it’s either not practical or inappropriate to carry this big bag.

    But I do love that it has turned out to be practical. Making bags like this has killed my purse addiction. It took 4 attempts to get one that was just right, and I don’t follow a pattern for these, I just stitch in the round till I decide it’s big enough, and then stitch till it’s tall enough. Not hard, except on my hands. Being able to make my own bags that fit my lifestyle better than anything I have ever found in stores has pretty much made it impossible to consider buying a purse off a shelf pretty much ever again.

    And re-waxing with beeswax once every few months is just fine with me, if this will last me several years before I have to make another one.

    Eventually I intend to try making a smaller one. Haven’t gotten around to it yet.

  • Impulsive Youth Purchase Turned Accidental Buy-It-Once

    I bought these Bamboo boots at Cherry Bomb at L5P in September of 2003. I remember they were probably about $100 in a time I had zero business spending $100 on a pair of shoes that were impractical, that I absolutely did not need. I did not need rain galoshes at the time; I probably needed dress shoes for work.

    Here they are, three minutes ago, in June of 2026.

    These boots saw me through two winters in Iowa. I remember a guy in the parking lot while I was working at Grinnell Mutual pointing at me and laughing and telling me I needed real snow shoes. But these rubber boots are completely waterproof and skid proof: perfect for snow and ice.

    Most of the past 23 years, they have lived in the back of my closet.

    I bought myself two pairs of Aérosoles Daria boots in 2025 and wore them near daily the entire year; I separated the soles on the brown pair, completely wearing them out. The faux patent leather pair still survives but is on its last legs probably.

    And so, these are coming out and into the rotation more often, in favor of buying new boots. I wear mostly blacks and grays anyway, so a little color doesn’t hurt. And I do still love them every bit as much as I did in 2003.

    I have owned these boots half my lifetime, and I’m hoping they last the rest of it.