Halloween was interesting….I dressed up as a professional princess complete with the tiara I wore for our wedding and the pink sweater I made for myself last year, and a tulle layered skirt that embarrasses the big boys but Oliver likes, and one of my crystal necklaces, and my black faux patent leather boots that I love so much.
Oliver was the Joker from Batman.
The band was allowed to wear costumes, so Liam wore his suit on the field. He told me who he was supposed to be but I forget now– he’d wanted to wear a mask but school rules prohibited masks.
We have Porter home for the weekend! I went to get him Thursday at UGA. I skipped my ladies’ group in favor of a nap and necessary self-care, and then went to get Porter.
This selfie with Jared was tonight at the Marina. Jared took me to the swings at the Marina for the last night of dark after 6 pm for the year, since the time changes tonight. I took another selfie with us both looking at the camera, but then he wanted to take this one of him kissing me.
Jared is not afraid of public displays of affection, and he opened the door on my side of the car when I got in the car tonight. I have to say…..he’s done that for 22 years now. The only exception is if the spot is too tight for it to be awkward for him to do so. Otherwise, he is opening the car door for me and I am used to it.
The last two days have been rough for reasons I won’t go into, but Jared is taking good care of me. He always does.
Jared says I have been less afraid of him this year; that I am making progress.
He says for years in the 2010s to the early 2020s I flinched, as in actually jumped, whenever Jared reached out to touch me.
Jared says it hurt, but he knew it was not him I was reacting to: it was ghosts of the past.
The body keeps score.
And even now, my nervous system is highly wired and worn out.
But I do love my husband, and I am learning to trust the love that he has shown me consistently for 22 years now.
Trust is hard.
Trusting men is harder.
The body keeps score and even with 22 years of careful and tender care, there are confusing outbursts occasionally. It’s hard to remember that my husband is not the enemy sometimes.
And when my nervous system feels short-circuited due to high alert, the best thing I can do is bury my head in Jared’s chest and let him tell me, without me saying a word, “You are safe.”
In fact, when I am at my most distressed, Jared takes off his shirt to hold me, telling me I need the contact of his warm skin.
Jared says, “You are safe,” at the most unexpected times.
The situation is delicate enough that Jared’s incredible employer lets me hang out with him at work whenever it’s practical.
Right now, I am drafting this post from the hallway of the press box while Jared is working with the broadcast kids for the Halloween football game tonight.
Lots of afternoons, when I have been unable to drag myself out of the bed due to despondency, Jared will say, “Come see me,” and when I manage to get cleaned up and out of the house, I just go hang out at his office.
Jared is truly my safe place.
How I got so lucky when that man with the online profile “Maxtheape” sent me a message in early July 2003, I will never know.
I remain convinced that Jared Price saved my life.
Time for some shallowness and navel-gazing (not that all my posts aren’t mostly navel-gazing)….
The photo above is me in June of 2021. I’d shaved my head in July of 2020 after I bleached my hair beyond repair the month before. I was probably also 50 pounds heavier at the time.
Just so people know…..if you decide to ever shave your hair you might love it. But also know: working through the first little 3 inches or so of grow-out phase is really, really, really hard. Which is why I was mostly bald and had super short hair through June of 2022. Just saying.
It’s been a process, honestly probably, shaving my hair was an awesome thing to do because in the process, I learned how to cut my hair myself.
I’ve had probably 4 professional haircuts in the last 3 years total…..I had one in June of 2025 and the one before that was in July of 2024.
Just so y’all know….Justin Hickox on YouTube is great for videos on how to cut and give basic small layers in fine hair like mine.
I picked up some regular cutting shears, and some texturizing shears. And while my hair was super short I was still using Jared’s trimmers on my neck.
Secret fact that’s not so secret: I still mostly use the trimmers sometimes to cut my hair, especially now that I mostly want a blunt cut. It’s a lot easier to get a straight line in the back holding the mirror.
Layers can be cute for short hair but the last time I had nearly shoulder length hair my hair looked so thin and I know now it was because it had entirely too many long layers in it. That might change if my hair gets beyond shoulder length, but not holding my breath on that. I’m aging and my hair is thinner and graying in odd places, which also makes it look thinner.
As far as products, it has been an evolving system.
Now, I use plain V05 shampoo from Walmart (I think it’s $1.99), and Trader Joe’s 3-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. I wash once with the V05 and once with the 3-in-1.
My hair tends to look greasy fast with heavy conditioners. I do use the L’Oreal Pro Longer conditioner every once in a while since I still have some….but probably not more than once every two weeks.
I’ve never been one to really use leave-in conditioners, but I picked up some Mixed Chicks leave-in conditioner at Publix and I do actually kind of love it. My hair is mostly straight but as it gets longer it has a sort of wave in the underside of it. But regardless, the Mixed Chicks conditioner is by far the lightest conditioner I’ve found.
Now, I use the Mixed Chicks conditioner most days, and I mostly focus on the hair below my ears.
Very occasionally I also do still use L’Oreal Elvive 8 Second Wonder Water in place of a conditioner, but I do this even less often than I do the L’Oreal Pro Longer conditioner at this point. I like it and it takes only a very tiny little bit with with my hair still being just below chin length, but I just don’t feel like I need it very often.
I’ve stopped using most of the L’Oreal Pro Longer line, but the one product I will continue to use daily is the L’Oreal Pro Longer Heat Protectant Cream. It is pricy but it is a 10-in-1 and I love the way it makes my hair feel. I mostly focus on the hair below my ears with this too, but I am less worried about it with this product.
I will say, with both the Mixed Chicks and the L’Oreal Heat Protectant…a very little bit goes a very long way, which is why I don’t mind the higher price.
Now that my hair is longer I am also back to using Kenra Sugar Beach Spray 7 as a texturizing spray instead of a salt spray. I like the way this make my hair feel too, and it adds a little body.
Best of all: I was a militant curling iron user from my teen years clear through adulthood.
I wish I’d stopped long enough to pay attention to my hair’s natural behavior to see that all I have to do is point the hair dryer at my ends and my hair curls under naturally. I don’t really even have to use a brush to get it to look that way. I guess it’s the natural wave, but it’s way easier on my hair than the curling iron is, for sure.
My goal for this season is to resist trims until after Christmas. That’s the issue with having the hair cutting tools and knowhow at home: It’s really easy to just pick up the shears and go at it, but that means less length over time. It’s why despite letting my hair grow since 2023, it’s still just under chin length.
So anyway, that’s the hair story these days.
If you’re new around here, you can read about me here. Have a great day!
Once upon a time, there was a girl who was out looking for herself.
She looked everywhere. She looked back in time.
She looked in her hometown.
She looked in far off places.
And there was a boy who held her hand the whole time.
And he reminded her that she was enough, that she mattered.
And he reminded her, daily, that he loved her.
And, one evening, holding the boy’s hand at the Marina in the picture above, she briefly snapped out of her fragile venture for meaning to see that it was right there, with her, holding her hand, the whole time.
I originally wrote this post in early February of this year, first posted on my personal Facebook profile and then published to a local group. It’s still an issue I feel very passionate about, and so, it’s time for it to make it to my blog. I don’t often step into activistic type shoes, but this is an issue I feel extraordinarily passionate about.
I have something to say about the picture above, and before I say it, I want to add a little context:
My family roots expand the entirety of the geography from rural Polk County to rural Henry County, Georgia, clear back to the early 1800s. As such, I am very very, very well aware of the interpersonal, social, and political dynamics at play that have brought us to this day and the situation as I see it.
My own personal work experience includes very behind the scenes work with organizations such as Atlanta Habitat for Humanity, Fernbank Museum, DFCS, and the AmeriCorps organization in a VISTA capacity (twice, actually), with both the American Red Cross and the Regional Commission network in conjunction with the State of Georgia, along with several private organizations from insurance companies to doing clerical and custodial work for a carpet cleaning company, and I’ve even done intermittent Door Dash in the last two years. My professional and lived experience spans a geographic area of approximately 950 miles, between here and Iowa. I have been a Carroll County resident for 36 of my 45 years.
And, I did happen to spend five years of my life doing a very intensive study of liberal arts subjects in a variety capacities at Georgia State University with religious studies being my major of choice.
As such, please do take note that I know a little bit of what I’m talking about both from a personal and a professional standpoint.
What follows is a repost of a post that I made yesterday on my personal Facebook page along with the corresponding picture that I’m posting here.
I might add that in addition to the personal correspondence that I sent Michelle Morgan approximately 3 weeks ago as I reference in this post, I did point out the value in anonymous volunteer contributions along with monetary support and professional photographic recognition, because of the fact that personally I take severe offense to the fact that her personal mode of operation is showing up for photographic opportunities and giving money to the causes that she supports without actually intervening personally in the work they are doing. Personal volunteer work is invaluable to character development and that is a cornerstone of my life’s work, so I do understand firsthand the impact of being very involved in the actual work of an organization in a volunteer capacity can have on one’s life, personally. I have been forever transformed by my own volunteer endeavors.
The whole way one acclimates and changes in this world is getting to know “the other,” in whatever capacity “the other” might show up in your personal life. I know that firsthand, too.
And you know, I also happen to know because I know my history. I know my personal family history. I know the history of area. I know my own personal history and understand the dynamics of what has brought me to believe in what I believe in. I know that Southern women are typically described as having innards of steel, and that is true for my spirit, undoubtedly. But in my particular case, it actually happens to be legitimate, biological fact that I have a great deal of stainless surgical steel in my body, so it is not just a metaphor for the fact that I will stand by my values and beliefs to any extent necessary.
It is high time that Carroll County, Georgia get its act together and live in the year 2025. I suspect the City of Carrollton itself began this process of reconciliation quite some number of years ago.
And for historical reference just for general knowledge purposes, the Confederate statue at the corner of that courthouse complex is not even a Confederate soldier, because the people who purchased it at the time only had the money for mass produced artifacts that were only tangentially representative of their views. It was very much a power-play, playing to the side of powerful angry white men whose status quo was being threatened at the time: the erection of that statue at that specific moment in history.
Know your history. Know your own personal history and confront your personal demons; know the history of your area, get to know your neighbors well– and your neighbors are not just the people who live literally next door to you.
We are all people and we have so much in common.
It is intense work but so very well worth it.
And I might add: the fact that I have the voice that I have now is very much a testament to the value of a liberal arts education, though my unique life and professional experience is what allows me to speak out and be particularly passionate about social justice.
Here is what I said in my Facebook post:
I have so many thoughts. I do understand that not everyone can dedicate five years of their lives to an intensive liberal arts education program like I did. However; I sincerely wish that 3-Day seminars on at least the Race and Ethnic Relations, Interpersonal Psychology, and half my religious studies classes but especially that preciously sacred Modern Judaism class…. I desperately wish that was all required seminar at both vocational and university levels, required by the Board of Regents for any degree receipt.
I actually wrote Michelle Morgan about this very issue approximately two weeks ago.
It is wholly inappropriate for any decoration to ever be placed on this lawn. Of any type.
It is highly disrespectful that the building is ever lit up with any light other than plain white light.
This building should be treated with the sacredness of a Holocaust museum because that is precisely the sacredness these grounds carry.
There shouldn’t even be office space in that building. It should be the place of silent tours as to the horrors of history of this County.
It is particularly appalling that the decorations face the side of the building that has the Confederate flag facade in the top middle, complete with its 13 stars, to this shameful day.
I’m done being quiet about bigoted and racist shenanigans. Done.
It is pure ignorance (or equally likely nefarious intolerance) that leads to places like this country we all love finds itself in today.
And, it is because liberal arts programs are being intentionally eliminated (I am sorry, I call it like I see it), that b.s. like this happens.
(Added in edits for this post: )
[The very nature of education in liberal arts areas of study is what allows for the very natural development of critical thinking skills: in other words, your ability to think for yourself and suss out what is worth absorbing information-wise in the world, and what is not.
And these programs are being eliminated nation-wide because certain segments of conservative powers that be do not want its citizens thinking critically for themselves, or being empowered to speak out. The intense progress in STEM areas of study is a convenient excuse to reinforce the elimination of these programs.
At least, to my educated observation, that is precisely what is happening.]
But, I am a law abiding tax paying business owner and resident (and added for this post: property owner) of this city and county.
So, I am going to exercise my voice as I see fit.
I tried to encourage enlightenment by suggesting diversity training to Michelle Morgan. My lovely friends with Fearless Dialogues would be the perfect match for the County Commission.
I tried to communicate this idea in the nicest way possible directly, in private.
Since my message was not considered, here it is in a more public forum.
If you are new around here, you can read more about me on my About page. Welcome!
Update October 2025: The lawn decor continues periodically.
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