Tag: writing

  • budget optimizations


    I have been on a rampage the last few months, trying to optimize our family budget as best we can.

    First, it started last May, when I closed my original photography business. I sold my second Fujifilm GF50sII body, and 4 of my GF lenses when I no longer needed them for business purposes. I did purchase a Fuji X-S20 with its kit lens so that I would have a second camera, but we still cleared a significant amount with the transactions.

    At the same time, I made a commitment, both internally to myself and also to my husband, to be entirely mindful of all of my spending. Historically, mindless spending when I am depressed or anxious has been a problem.

    Between May and September, that was the primary focus of my energy.

    In September, I decided we were done with the credit card rollercoaster. We’d previously had a personal loan that had a higher than optimal interest rate, at 11.25%, and we also had some minor credit card debt. We were offered and secured a different personal loan with a 7.99% interest rate, and rolled the minor credit card debt and the original personal loan into this 7.99% fixed personal loan.

    At some point in October or November, I called and asked about better deals for our internet only at home– we don’t have a home phone or cable service, we pay for internet only. I lowered our monthly bill from $79.99 to $65 and at the same time, I also secured us a better tier of service.

    Grocery-wise, we primarily shop at Aldi, Walmart, and Costco, with the bulk of our groceries coming from Costco. I have started paying attention to what is on sale weekly at Costco, and buying in bulk where it makes sense to do so. That has made a difference since I began doing this in October– last month we spent $400 less than the month prior, and we are on track to do the same thing this month as well.

    Then in early November, I started wondering if we could refinance our second mortgage…..its interest rate was secured when our credit was not as good, and its interest rate was 10.36%. At the same time, we had a home improvement loan for crawlspace encapsulation that was not only a 9.99% loan, it was a 15-year loan with 13.5 years left. So I looked around, and I found us a 7.625% second mortgage to roll the original second mortgage plus the home improvement loan into, and it is a 10-year term. We will save $14,000 over the life of the loan over what we were paying on the original two loans. (Our primary mortgage rate is 2.875% and thankfully the second mortgage is very minor by comparison).

    In deciding to open a new luxury photography business, I had to be extremely strategic in which expenses were non-negotiable. Ultimately, the LLC and occupational tax certificates were an “of course.” I also ensured my state sales and use tax certificate was put in place, and I re-opened a business checking account with Bluevine that has no monthly service fee at all. And finally, I secured a great deal on fairly comprehensive business insurance with Full Frame Insurance. The beautiful thing for my budget is that the photography gear I already had– and the fact that my primary Cinelux lens works on both of my existing cameras– is all I need to create beautiful luxury portraits.

    And finally, in this last week, I have managed to secure loyalty discounts and upgrades of 3 of the 4 phone devices in our household such that the upgrade cost us $174.30 in taxes, but I got upgrade and trade in fees waived, new devices included with payment of the plans, and payoff on my old phone all included. And with the loyalty discount in place that I was offered, our monthly phone bill for 4 lines will go down from $238 a month to $137 a month.

    So now, our highest interest rate on debt at all is 7.99% across all debt, and it truly does feel like our budget is as optimized as possible, given the circumstances we have created for ourselves.

    And as I make a renewed commitment to my artistic photography, all of this budget optimization frees up considerable brain space for concentration on what I truly love: my art.

    Read more about me here.

  • this man is my hero

    Jared and I got in a fight today. And the content or reason is not important, nor is how it resolved other than to say that it is over now.

    In the process, though, I found out something that reminded me of why Jared is my hero:

    Before my October meeting with the man-who-shall-not-be-named, Jared sent said person a message demanding respect for me during said meeting.

    Jared never told me a word about it, until the heat of the moment today, when I accused him of never standing up for me against said individual.

    And that specific knowledge goes a long way toward both healing last December, and also making me feel very, very, very safe with my husband. It also rather dramatically explains that while verbal harassment occurred in October, physical boundaries were observed.

    I’ve long known that Jared will go to bat, at great length, for me.

    But knowing that he warned this particular individual as to protecting my safety, regardless of what actually happened, I am certain went a long way toward ensuring at least physical boundaries were observed.

    I love my husband. Emotional and physical safety and protection are just two more reasons why. Indeed, they are the whole reason I chose Jared 22 years ago, when presented between the choice of the two of them.

  • thankful

    Arapaho National Forest

    I am aware that most of the time in writing at least, I am the bringer of doom-and-gloom.

    Today, though, I am grateful.

    I have a gratitude practice that I do most days in my journal app. I just don’t publish it because most of the time it has things that I wouldn’t necessarily want the world to know.

    Here’s today’s gratitude list:

    1. I am grateful for Jared.
    2. I am grateful for my marriage to Jared.
    3. I am grateful for Porter.
    4. I am grateful for Liam.
    5. I am grateful for Oliver.
    6. I am grateful for Abby.
    7. I am grateful for Trixie.
    8. I am grateful for Mow.
    9. I am grateful for Nancy.
    10. I am grateful for Bess.
    11. I am grateful for my side of the family.
    12. I am grateful for Jared’s side of the family.
    13. I am grateful Jared has a good job.
    14. I am grateful our kids are getting stellar education.
    15. I am grateful Porter has a safe place to live in Athens.
    16. I am grateful Liam got into UGA.
    17. I am grateful Oliver had such a good time doing the play, “Oliver” at school.
    18. I am grateful that all three of our children are healthy.
    19. I am grateful that we have a home.
    20. I am grateful that we have a nice home.
    21. I am grateful that we have reliable transportation.
    22. I am grateful that Jared and the boys helped me clean up our house yesterday.
    23. I am grateful we are all physically able to clean and do household chores.
    24. I am grateful we have enough to eat.
    25. I am grateful for good friends.
    26. I am grateful for our church family.
    27. I am grateful to be a photographer.
    28. I am grateful to like to write.
    29. I am grateful to be learning to leave the past in the past.
    30. I am grateful we can pay our bills.
    31. I am grateful that I am learning to like living in Carrollton more.
    32. I am grateful Porter and Liam have their driver’s licenses.
    33. I am grateful Porter and Liam are good drivers.
    34. I am grateful to be having Costco deli Mac and cheese for lunch today.
    35. I am grateful to be alive.
    36. I am grateful to be 46 years old.
    37. I am grateful to have learned a lot about caring for my mental health over my adult lifetime.
    38. I am grateful for healing.
    39. I am grateful for time alone to think.
    40. I am grateful to have been married to Jared for 20 years.
    41. I am grateful for good choices.
    42. I am grateful for a good night’s sleep.
    43. I am grateful that my whole family has enough clothes to wear.
    44. I am grateful for my education.
    45. I am grateful for appreciating history: my own, my family’s, and the broader world.
    46. I am grateful I was a religious studies major.
    47. I am grateful it’s not too late.
    48. I am grateful for my life.
    49. I am grateful for love.
    50. I am grateful that today is a good day.

    And with that, I am going to focus on today, today.

    I wish everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving.

  • protein bar in the bed kind of morning

    I don’t take photos like this very often. But as I draft this post it is 11:18 AM and I am eating my favorite kind of Kirkland protein bar in the bed. Because it is that kind of morning.

    And as it happens, I went to bed in the most awfully despondent kind of mood last night. The kind where I become uber dramatic and morose about the future; I will not repeat what was said.

    It was the kind of morning where I did not set an alarm; Jared woke me up long after he’d woken the boys up, to get me to take my morning medicines. He knew he had to do this because if he did not, I might or might not actually take said medications (note: it was my thyroid meds so the likelihood of me taking them was high. But still).

    And because Jared loves me and spoils me rotten, for breakfast because he knew comfort foods were in order, he brought me a baggie of Cheez-It’s and my favorite Kirkland Chocolate and Peanut Butter Protein Bar.

    And I promptly fell back asleep until after 10 AM.

    Because it’s difficult to maintain hope right now.

    But, I do have two goals for today:

    1. finish the stitching on my newest jute bag’s liner
    2. Get my jewelry collection back in order, because it is in the kind of embarrassing state that does not reflect my feelings about it.

    That’s true, actually, about our house and my body, too; both are in the kind of embarrassing state that does not reflect my feelings about either of them.

    Jared told me, as he frequently does, to “be kind to yourself” before he left.

    So that’s today’s goal. Even if today is starting at 11:28 AM.

  • bet my back is more messed up than yours

    I referred to it a little on the 12th but last week, on the 12th, I had a check-up with my orthopedic PA.

    I’m not really sure why I even go. It’s not like there’s more surgery I will ever let them do to me, even if my neck discs are seriously degenerating.

    The photo above is my back as it looked on x-ray on Wednesday, November 12. 

    It’s pretty crazy. 

    And that whole top curve wasn’t there when I was a teenager or young adult. I assume that is what 4 pregnancies (yes, there were 4 even though there are only 3 boys) and years upon years of laying-in-the-bed-depressed depression will do to me with my brand of scoliosis.

    The only real comment the orthopedic PA made was that indeed, there is significant degeneration in the discs in my neck. Such that actually, there was a blank space where there should have been a disc at the base of my neck in front, actually. 

    That’s probably why my neck hurts when I transition from standing or sitting to lying down in the bed. 

    And maybe I should feign terror at the utter basic breakdown that is my spine, that is my body.

    But to be honest, it’s just my normal. I’ve dealt with this since I was 6 years old, way back in the back brace days.

    At least I’ve spent the vast majority of my life without the large lumbar hump that was on the left side of my back as a kid.

    My orthopedic PA says she doesn’t measure degrees. She says she’ll know when she should refer me to her surgeon, and he’ll measure degrees then. She knows– rightly– that people obsess over degrees of curvature when– also rightly– degrees don’t necessarily mean a damn thing, especially when there’s rotation or some other such craziness going on.

    She didn’t say this time, though, that she’d never see me needing surgery again.

    Not sure I would do it though. I’d have to be in an awful– a very awful– amount of pain to agree to give up the mobility I have in my upper back and neck, and that’s what would happen with more fusions.

    I’ve had probably 2% of progression in the last two years. She says that’s pretty stable for my particular situation. So much so, that she won’t worry about x-rays when I come back next year.

    I did get another referral for physical therapy. I still know a lot of the exercises I was taught last year but I haven’t been super reliable about it since I got depressed and had very bad mental health in the Spring and summer. And of course, I did have a whole hysterectomy in May.

    All you people with normal bodies, it must be nice.

    When I look at this photo of my x-ray though, it makes complete sense as to why I have mental health issues AND why I have been the object of not-nice men.

    Easy to prey on the already weakened.

    As my oldest would say, “It is what it is.”