Tag: Family

  • changes

    I’ve been quiet since Friday. 

    I’ve been introspective. And depressed. And busy.  

    We went to pick Porter up yesterday in Athens. Today, Jared and I cleaned house all day long to prepare for tonight. Our house is not embarrassing finally, if we have guests.  

    Tonight, we decorated for Christmas. My Rich’s Richie Bear and Priscilla Pig stuffed animals came out for the decorations for the first time in our married lives since Porter was an infant and too tiny to hurt them.  

    We got Nannie’s ceramic tree decorated. I pulled out my Rudolph collection of stuffed animals and Jared’s sweet Mama’s Christmas woodcarvings and stockings.  

    We ate dinner, the five of us having Jared’s famous grilled cheese sandwiches, and then we had an outing for milkshakes at Chick-fil-a because it is peppermint milkshake season.. Except for Oliver, who doesn’t like sweets, so he had an eight count nugget because two grilled cheese sandwiches were not enough for an 11-year-old boy.  

    And somewhere over the past week, I remembered that I missed taking pictures for other people and I’d like to be able to do it again. I really enjoyed the maternity session with the Cinelux lenses. 

    And so, things are in the works. A new page is on this site. There is a new domain name also pointing to that page and a new instagram site that has been held for about a year or more, waiting for something to do.  

    And yes, a new LLC has been filed for, waiting for approval. Business expenses will be kept to an absolute minimum, no new equipment is required.

    The idea is a completely artistic-driven portrait experience. One that I don’t pay to support, fees that support a living wage. Portraits will be made exclusively with my existing Cinelux and Minolta lenses, with my GFX50sII.

    I may never get a client and that’s okay, but I’m going to create the kind of art that feeds me. I have a clear artistic voice waiting to scream out in my head and it’s high time that I fed that vision.

    It’s time.

  • we have another dawg!

    Well, I don’t actually know that we have another Dawg. It’s not his top choice. But, Liam did get into the University of Georgia! Yay! So he does at least have one place to go next Fall.

    I am so very, very, very proud of this young man. He has worked so, so hard these last two years in particular, doing the International Baccalaureate program at Carrollton High School. And he’s done it while doing marching band, and learning to play the bass trombone, and I can’t keep up with the number of clubs he is in (and an active part of).

    Liam is a great friend to his friends, and he is just so very smart. His work ethic is the best of any individual I have ever known in my life. I worry about him quite a bit though, as he works himself too hard.

    This kiddo of mine has had a job every summer since he was 14 years old. He has more common sense (and financial sense) than anybody else in our household.

    He declared his prospective major as accounting at UGA but as we understand it he would have to apply to the Terry College of Business in his second year should he go.

    It has been a good day. I got some household organization situated during the day.

    And the Carrollton Trojans won! Next week is against Grayson at home.

    I don’t normally go down where the band parents are waiting for the band to come into the stands….lots of them stand on the track by the football field. But tonight before the game as the band was walking onto the field for pregame I went down and snapped this, of Liam:

    It’s not a great pic. I was in a hurry and frankly flustered to be on the sidelines and well. Whatever. I used Topaz to focus their faces.

    This was the shot of the night, though:

    It was nice to get out of the press box hallway for a little while. I snapped this shot of the band in the Amp before I went down to the sidelines to wait. The press box hallway is my hangout while Oliver does the instant replays and Jared helps with the broadcast kids on Friday nights.

    I snapped the pictures, but the whole point of going down was to meet Liam and give him a giant Mama hug. He’d texted in a big group text to let us know he’d gotten into UGA but he’d stayed at school between school and the game tonight. So I’d said congratulations, but I didn’t want to wait until he got home from the game for the hug.

    The hug was 100% worth it.

    It was a good day.

  • protein bar in the bed kind of morning

    I don’t take photos like this very often. But as I draft this post it is 11:18 AM and I am eating my favorite kind of Kirkland protein bar in the bed. Because it is that kind of morning.

    And as it happens, I went to bed in the most awfully despondent kind of mood last night. The kind where I become uber dramatic and morose about the future; I will not repeat what was said.

    It was the kind of morning where I did not set an alarm; Jared woke me up long after he’d woken the boys up, to get me to take my morning medicines. He knew he had to do this because if he did not, I might or might not actually take said medications (note: it was my thyroid meds so the likelihood of me taking them was high. But still).

    And because Jared loves me and spoils me rotten, for breakfast because he knew comfort foods were in order, he brought me a baggie of Cheez-It’s and my favorite Kirkland Chocolate and Peanut Butter Protein Bar.

    And I promptly fell back asleep until after 10 AM.

    Because it’s difficult to maintain hope right now.

    But, I do have two goals for today:

    1. finish the stitching on my newest jute bag’s liner
    2. Get my jewelry collection back in order, because it is in the kind of embarrassing state that does not reflect my feelings about it.

    That’s true, actually, about our house and my body, too; both are in the kind of embarrassing state that does not reflect my feelings about either of them.

    Jared told me, as he frequently does, to “be kind to yourself” before he left.

    So that’s today’s goal. Even if today is starting at 11:28 AM.

  • laundry day is probably going to be four days long

    The title says it all.

    On Sunday evening, October 19, I threw in a load of laundry. I knew I’d be busy on dedicated laundry day, Monday the 20th, so I was trying to get ahead so my whole routine wouldn’t be blown to smithereens.

    I was fooling myself. Not because the premise of the idea wasn’t good, but because Monday the 20th threw me into a whirlwind of emotions I can only tangentially talk about at the moment. Mostly self-destructive despair and self-loathing.

    I think I actually did a load of laundry on the 20th, or I actually switched the laundry, early that morning.

    And, maybe three loads of laundry have gotten done since then. Maybe four.

    Monday is still laundry day. But, I am starting laundry day today, on Saturday, so that maybe laundry day will be done by Tuesday or early Wednesday– we have that much laundry. If I finish it on Monday, all the better but I am not holding my breath.

    Dana K. White from A Slob Comes Clean was the first person who I listened to about laundry day. My aunt said years ago she tried to tell me once it would be easier to just have a laundry day when the boys were little, but I have no memory of that.

    But, Dana says that a first laundry day, in no way, is likely to be only one day if you have an actual family you are doing laundry for.

    And in my experience, she’s 100% right.

    So, here I am, it’s 12:46 PM on Saturday November 8, 2025, and I am started Monday’s the 10th’s laundry day at 11:30 this morning.

    Because I was doing pretty good before the 20th. And I feel pretty good this morning, aside from feeling like my routine is gone to crap.

    And, this afternoon, there is a maternity session and it is exclusively a Cinelux lens maternity session. I am taking along the Minolta lens just in case I need it, but I don’t anticipate needing it. A former bride approached me about maternity photos several months ago, about the time I was shutting down the business and sold the bulk of my lenses, and I turned them down. But I reached out later and showed her some of the photos with the lenses and told her it wouldn’t be a typical session but that I was willing to do it for free if I could use these lenses and use them for my portfolio, and she agreed. So here we are, and it is a beautiful day with perfect weather, and I get to have a Cinelux session.

    The idea was that if the photos turned out, I might decide to take on limited Cinelux sessions in the future.

    I already used this lens once in a session, a few years ago now. I just chickened out and got complacent with my autofocus lenses.

    I forgot to slow down and enjoy photography.

    And, for the occasion, I downloaded again the UnScripted app, my posing Bible I used for so very long. I am very excited about the poses I found.

    Eight years in, I no longer feel any shame whatsoever in the fact that coming up with natural poses on my own is no, in fact, natural for me.

    But, I found the UnScripted app when it was first barely out of beta, brand new, years ago and it has served me very well. I paid for a lifetime membership around 2020 in fact, when it was dirt cheap– definitely not what it is now. It was probably 1/5 of what it is now — at $499– or else I wouldn’t have paid for it at all.

    Looking back on this week: there were nerves about the potential health scare. There was leftover fallout from meeting with someone I shouldn’t have on October 20. There was fallout from having told that person exactly what I think of them in writing since apparently I am incapable of doing so to their face though at least I can, indeed, face them. But, also: the time change hit me really, really hard, really, really suddenly.

    I do not do well with limited daylight hours. Which is why I use a light therapy lamp to begin with.

  • the plastic project

    ***This post contains an affiliate link.***

    The plastic-on-the-windows project is done. At least done enough, for now.

    Not really to my satisfaction really, but there’s nothing to be done about it.

    Liam’s windows still have shades on them (with sheers over the top just for my own edification really) because his window is the only one really on ground level. 

    To put plastic on Liam’s windows would mean I would have to cover the shades (the plastic goes on the window frame), which means Liam wouldn’t be able to peek behind them to see who was in the driveway, or if there was a weird noise outside. 

    Liam prefers to keep relying on his space heater when it gets really cold. 

    And Oliver just straight up doesn’t want plastic on his windows.

    And the dining room windows are complicated because the sheers are held on by a tension rod between the tops of the frames. So I couldn’t go to the top of the frame with the plastic.

    Porter’s room is a maybe later. But his room is in the middle of house and it’s typically the hottest room in the house anyway naturally. 

    And the kitchen is also a maybe, though that room doesn’t really get cold. 

    And so: the plastic is on the double doors in the living room, and the windows in our bedroom.

    Our bedroom is the coldest room in the house. Our room is above the almost-walk-in crawlspace/basement and I’ve been thinking about going to get some more roll insulation to put in the ceiling of the crawlspace/basement, between the joists. It’s a thought, though I haven’t talked to Jared about it yet.

    At the very least, the styrofoam tubing I shoved in the wider, disjointed gaps at the base of both double doors in the living room, along with the plastic sweeeps we put to block the air last winter, will help, in addition to the plastic on the window portions of the double doors. That was the biggest insulation worry, since I removed the heavy blackout drapes. 

    The goal really wasn’t to bring our energy bills down from what they already are. The goal was to prevent them from skyrocketing despite the very necessary aesthetic changes made to the windows in the house, for my mental health. 

    If anybody is interested in the plastic I bought, you can find it here. 

    It was the cheapest plastics solution I could find, though admittedly I dealt with an awful lot of waste. But the tape, despite the reviews, seem decent enough. And the hair dryer trick (waving the hair dryer briefly over the edges covering the tape) really does shrink wrap the plastic to the frame .

    And one thing I really was not prepared for was the mishaps: The first window I did, I didn’t know that I should keep the hair dryer to the edges by the tape, and I melted two holes that had to be patched. And the patching, while functional, takes away from the aesthetic. I really need to redo that window.

    Similarly, I hadn’t counted on the dogs seeing cats through the sheers outside and going berzerk. Trixie punched a hole in the bottom of the plastic in one of the doors in the living room, that had to be patched.

    At any rate, I am calling the project a success.

    You can read more about me here.