My yoga mat is living in my office at the moment. I mean, it always lives in my office, but it is really out and has been for the past three days. I can walk past it without tripping on it but I cannot walk through the room without noticing it.
The Vibram shoes I got a week or so ago are prompting me to keep moving, and having the mat out at the ready is an easy reminder to pop down to the mat and do a few stretches. Maybe a downward dog or two.
I am future facing, preparing my body to be stronger for the future, rather than letting my weight remind me of the past.
This is turning out to be a trend.
I am repeatedly turning away from old traumas.
Because really, I have spent plenty of time processing old traumas. I am interested in possibilities now. I am 40 years old, and I don’t know that I would call what I am experiencing so much a midlife crisis as more of a midlife awakening. I’ve gathered tools to help me process and cope, and now it’s time to make things happen.
It’s time to commit energy to my family. It’s time to pamper my puppies. It’s time to spend with my mama and daddy and aunt and uncle. It’s time to deepen my bond with Jared.
It’s time to dream again. It’s time to release old expectations for what life would look like at any given point in time.
Just like yoga is becoming more of a habit again, I am also working on future thinking. My therapist has introduced me to future-oriented journaling. It’s about changing habits.
Other than the pandemic, life is good. Wear your masks, people, and black lives still matter.